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~*True Friend*~
 
Here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
 
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
the sorry bastard who made you sad.
 
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
 
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
 
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
 
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be and to quit whining.
 
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
 
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.
 
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
 
This is my oath...I pledge it till the end.  Why? You may ask. Because you are my friend.
 
Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if  I ever need to bring a shovel. .!